You deserve to have someone who wants you as much as you want them. Fantasy may befun but the world is full of wonderful, available partners. If you are pursuing someone who is ambivalent or unavailable, ask yourself why.Īre you afraid of being alone? Do you see this person as the solution to all your problems? No one other than yourself can make you feel whole. If it is not present, perhaps it is time to let a relationship go or give yourself some time before making any deeper commitment. Can I imagine any real person who would be good enough for me right now?.Am I being too critical, perhaps out of fear or unresolved grief from a past relationship loss?.Am I falling victim to shoulds when love is not a feeling we can force to happen?.Am I trying to force something here out of loneliness, fear I wont find someone, or fear of hurting the other person?.If you are with someone who has everything youve wanted but you dont feel a romantic connection, ask yourself: Sometimes, as when feeling anxiety or depression, it may be hard to differentiate between the guts intuition and anxious thoughts or depressed moods. Sometimes the gut saves us and guides us. We know something but we dont know why or cant explain how we know. Whether you experience gut as intuition or a physical sense, for many it is a deep knowing that is not necessarily linear or logical. Are my doubts based on evidence, such as things in past relationships which havent worked for me?.Will I regret staying and thereby delaying finding someone with whom I could have it all?.How will I feel a year from now if I havent moved on?.If you doubt your partner is a good long-term match despite great chemistry, ask yourself: When it comes to romance, what to do about head-heart conflicts? Listen, as you read, for any advice or wisdom each voice may offer. Then do so again consulting your wise mind. If you have made a list of pros and cons about a decision facing you, go down the list and tune in your deep feeling voice. Take your wise brain and deep heart with you on a walk or run, and just listen. You can do this by visualizing it, writing or speaking a dialogue, even writing with both hands, using the dominant hand to write the minds voice and your non-dominant hand to speak your heart. When you have an head-heart conflict, try fostering a conversation between the wise brain and deep heart. The deep heart sometimes whispers, other times speaks with authority. It knows right from wrong, not in a moralistic sense but as in what is right and wrong for you. Like the wise brain, your deep heart may feel like a deep, slow moving river. This is beyond any particular emotion it is the source of your emotions. This may be a presence you call spirit, the undefended heart, the voice of love, or soul. Take a few moments perhaps even putting your hand over your heart if you like to listen to your deep heart voice. ![]() The heart emits an electrical field 60 times greater in amplitude than the activity in the brain and an electromagnetic field 5,000 times stronger that of the brain. Our hearts beat roughly 115,000 times a day 3 billion beats in our lifetimes. Make note of how it sounds and how it feels in your body. Your wise brain sees potential consequences and asks you if that is what you really want. ![]() Your deep wisdom watches out for you, not with hysterics or Henny Penny warnings, but by offering the long view. It may be a voice you internalized from a wise parent, elder, teacher or role model. It is a voice of reflection, of experience. It is often a voice of calm, a voice that may speak more softly than most of what rushes past us served up by busy minds. Your may experience your deepest wisdom as an adult self, a self-cherishing perspective, your wise voice, or some other term. So how can you touch into your deepest wisdom among all this automatic thinking? Then think about times when your thoughts served up wisdom which may have changed your life or protected you from harm. ![]() Think about times when your thoughts may have led you astray. It may also be helpful to take stock of your history. There is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head. While you do so, let your feelings just pass by. Observing thoughts may feel much different than consulting your feelings. On the other hand, if you usually go straight to feelings, let yourself tune into your thoughts. If you find it hard to identify feelings, referring to a feeling wheel, list, or chart may help. Try just sitting and noticing what you are feeling. Rather, feelings are information from a less linear aspect of yourself.Įmotional intelligence is every bit as important as mental intelligence. For example, if you tend to favor logic, let yourself tune into your feelings.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |